There are a lot of reasons why you might want to smoke inside without alerting anybody. Maybe you have young kids in the house or family members who disapprove. Maybe you’re living in a place that frowns upon or even forbids marijuana (no comment on the rule-breaking). Or maybe you’re just sensitive to smells and don’t want your home to smell like an Amsterdam coffee shop. Whatever the case, you’re reading this article because you want to smoke inside discreetly and we’re here with the answers you’re looking for.
PICK YOUR POISON
Everybody has their preferred vehicle for getting in their toke, whether it’s bongs, joints, vapes, edibles, apples – the list goes on. But the hard truth is that some of these are just a better fit for discreet smoking than others, meaning you may need to change your tool of choice. For example, joints are notoriously stinky, creating lots of smoke and even a bit of noise in the entire grinding and rolling process. On the other end of the spectrum is edibles, which barely smell at all, certainly not enough to be noticed in another room. But if you prefer to fill your lungs with marijuana instead of your belly, you may want to go for a vaporizer, which doesn’t smell all that much at all. Or, at the very least, keep to small bongs and pipes, which won’t burn up as much weed as the bigger guys.
PHONE A FRIEND
Another option to consider is investing in creating or buying a product specifically made to help you decrease the smelly output of your weed smoking. If you’ve never been introduced to it before, there’s this little thing you can jerry-rig called a sploof that is meant to filter the smoke that you exhale. It’s basically just a toilet paper roll with a few dryer sheets rubber-banded around one of the openings that you blow your smoke into. You’d be surprised at how good they are at turning stanky smoke into normal-ish air.
If you’re less into the homemade tools and have the money to buy something more effective and sturdy, you can also buy a SmokeBuddy, which is basically like a pro sploof. This powerful little guy is a little bigger than the size of your fist and uses a filtration system to eliminate the weed smell from your smoke. They come in all sorts of different colors and designs, too, which can make them a fun addition to your smoke kit. Look for one at your local bong shop.
WATCH WHERE YOU EXHALE
This tip will depend on your circumstances, but the general idea is that if you’re trying to disguise the smell of your marijuana smoke, you shouldn’t just be exhaling it openly into the middle of the room. Instead, it can be a good idea to blow it out of a window. However, that might not be the best choice if your neighbors would have a problem with the weed or if you live in a place like a dorm room.
If that’s the case, you might want to opt for smoking in a bathroom with the shower turned on. The noise of the shower will mask any sounds and the steam of the hot water will mask the smell. Plus, the bathroom fan or vent will clear out the smoke along with the steam. Just make sure you have the water hot enough to create lots of steam and leave the shower on for a few minutes after you’re done (this can be a good time to actually take a shower.) If you want to be extra careful, you can place a rolled towel in the crack of the bathroom door so no smoke can escape out of the room.
MASK THE SMELL
If it’s too late to filter the air and avoid filling your room with the smell of smoke, your last resort is pretty much to mask the smell of the marijuana with another, even stronger smell. There are a few tools you can use to make this happen. Febreze is a classic. Axe body spray, if you have it laying around, definitely packs a powerful punch. Scented candles are a decent option, but they don’t tend to be quite powerful enough to go up against the all-mighty marijuana odor. Indoor incenses, however, are a great candidate, as their smell is quite powerful and heavy. If you have the foresight, you can light your incense before you even start smoking, so that there is a competing scent the entire time. There are also companies that make room sprays and fragrances specifically designed to mask the smell of marijuana with clean, elegant scents that don’t scream “stoner.”
COVER UP THE SMOKE ALARM
One of the biggest dead giveaways that something fishy (or smoky) is happening in a room is when the smoke alarm goes off. Especially if you’re smoking in a new room for the first time and don’t yet know how sensitive the smoke alarm is, you’ll want to cover up or disable the alarm while you’re smoking. Of course, it’s super important to put the alarm back as soon as you’re done because fire safety is still important even if you’re a stoner!
MAKE SOME NOISE
A lot of the focus on hiding that you’re smoking weed inside goes to the telltale smell, but noises can also blow your cover. From lighter sounds to coughs and bubbling bongs, there are definitely some noises that tell the true story of what you’re doing. So put on your favorite music or cartoons on loud while you’re smoking to keep you covered.